If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
