Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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