He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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