No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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