i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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