he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i dont even know how to be here
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
