Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
