you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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