I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
