my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
