I feel great
I just peed on a car
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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