i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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