Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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