I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
