I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
