I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
where are you?
Hypothermia
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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