The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
