well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
