dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's not a foreskin expert like you
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize