Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
My ass is underappreciated
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
