I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
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