His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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