waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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