I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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