Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
