I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
He did a backflip because drugs
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