There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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