I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled if crying burns calories
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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