Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
