Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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