Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
