So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
