Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
