I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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