? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
