Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
