I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
