But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
