thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
