i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
