i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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