Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
