i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
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i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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