Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
