It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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