Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
