Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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