Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
