he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Randomize
