You're so nebulous sometimes
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
