HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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