there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
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