You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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