Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
