Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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