So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
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