is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
