We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
