Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
wrigley field is MILF paradise
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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