Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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