When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
