i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
