i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
FUCK WHALES
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
