you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
he shaved USA in his pubs
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
