he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
